So it goes. I'm trying very hard not to let the shadows over take me. Even if the shadows are in my own mind. They say you're not going insane if you can question your own sanity. I'm not so sure. But I'm trying. Trying very hard. If I'm truly unable to face up to my own past, will I finally be consumed by it? Can I stand up to my own shadows, or will I have to admit defeat and go on the 'happy' drugs of life?
And so it goes. And I'm still trying very hard not to let the shadows overtake me.
Its time for me to stop and take a breath- to look around and see what I can see. Not that I'm going too fast, But I'm too deep, too mired down in the mundane, slowly drowning without even knowing it. I have to take a step back and look at the whole of it- at least that which I can See.
Perhaps I'm so deeply embedded in the little things that I've really become detached from Spirit and so yearn for adventure, for change I know I don't need. I wish I could meld the two, so I could function smoothly between, instead of having to flip back and forth, using energy and resources that are limited to begin with. This is my goal, to achieve fluidity; as I grow and learn I believe it can happen.
Through it all there is this lethargy, a weariness that grows every day, an increasing desire for true silence. I fight myself even as I am resigning myself to the care of Spirit, and it is exhausting me.
I've begun to wonder how much further I can go alone. I wonder if I even want to.
And so it goes. And I'm still trying very hard not to let the shadows overtake me.
Its time for me to stop and take a breath- to look around and see what I can see. Not that I'm going too fast, But I'm too deep, too mired down in the mundane, slowly drowning without even knowing it. I have to take a step back and look at the whole of it- at least that which I can See.
Perhaps I'm so deeply embedded in the little things that I've really become detached from Spirit and so yearn for adventure, for change I know I don't need. I wish I could meld the two, so I could function smoothly between, instead of having to flip back and forth, using energy and resources that are limited to begin with. This is my goal, to achieve fluidity; as I grow and learn I believe it can happen.
Through it all there is this lethargy, a weariness that grows every day, an increasing desire for true silence. I fight myself even as I am resigning myself to the care of Spirit, and it is exhausting me.
I've begun to wonder how much further I can go alone. I wonder if I even want to.
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